Underneath the Mask
by ChoCedric
Summary: "You may not think so," he whispered into the dark, empty room, "But I do have feelings." After Penelope Clearwater's petrification, Percy Weasley lies awake and thinks about his family. They may not think their constant teasing and heckling hurts him, but Merlin, it does.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Underneath the Mask

By: ChoCedric

Percy Weasley lay on his bed in his empty room. His dormmates were all either in the common room or on the Quidditch pitch, but to be honest, he couldn't care less where they were right now. All he wanted was to be alone.

Penelope, the only one who truly understood him, was currently lost to him. It took all his willpower for him to keep believing that she wasn't dead, that Professor Sprout's mandrakes would finally bring her back to him. Every time he pictured her in his mind, he saw her lying stiff on a hospital bed as though made of stone, a look of terror plastered on her beautiful face.

His mind then drifted from her to his family. There was a reason why he thought Penelope was the only one who had ever understood him, because his family certainly didn't. Just this evening, Fred and George had taken the mickey out of him for no apparent reason at all. Well, the reason was because they wanted to. They had nothing else better to do. And no one had defended him, but what could he expect? Ron was all too quick to agree with everything the twins said that was in regards to him.

And as for Ginny? She usually picked on him too, but as of late, she had started to look very ill. Percy, being the big brother he was, had been worried about her constantly ever since her symptoms had begun. When he had brought it up several days ago to Fred and George, he thought they might agree with him, because it was their sister for crying out loud! But they had just laughed, claiming he was a worrywart. "Merlin, lighten up, you'll go old and gray in a year if you just sit there like that," Fred had chortled. George had replied with, "Blimey, Perce, why do you continue to be an old sourpuss?"

Yes, this is what Percy had to put up with all the time from them. And because of his serious demeanor and the way he didn't react to their constant pranks and jokes, they thought it didn't hurt him. But God, it did. Just because he was someone who appreciated hard work and studying didn't make him a robot! Just because he didn't get up to the same stupid, juvenile pranks they found funny didn't make him less human than them, didn't make him less capable of having feelings and emotions.

But the truth was, Percy still loved his family desperately, even though the anger and resentment towards them simmered within him. The feelings of affection and frustration warred within him every single day. Even though they hurt him to no end, he did not want to see anything happen to a single one of them. If it came down to it, he would give his life for them – he'd jump in front of a Killing Curse if that was what he had to do. They were his blood, and nothing mattered more to him. Even when he was small, his sole goal in life had been to protect them.

Ron was the one he worried the most about, ever since he'd gotten involved in a friendship with Harry Potter. The boy was nothing but trouble; he'd known it since the end of last year, when he'd led him and Hermione on the wild goose chase that ended up with Ron getting a concussion and Harry being unconscious, close to death, for three days. Percy wasn't at all ashamed to admit he'd gone to Ron's bedside and cried as he watched him sleep. Yes, Percy Weasley had actually cried for his brother, though he knew Ron would scoff and insult him if he'd been awake to know it.

He had, however, brought up his concerns about Harry once Ron had regained his health, with the predictable results. Ron had snarled at him, "Get the bloody hell out of my business. You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with." Even though he knew that would happen, Percy still felt the hurt rise up and almost choke him. Couldn't Ron see that Percy was saying all this out of worry, out of fear? Merlin, if he saw Ron lying like that, tiny and injured, in a hospital bed ever again ... he didn't even want to think about it.

He'd cried over Penelope too, because Percy loved her as well. This love, however, was different from the love he had for his family. Over the past months, he and Penelope had gotten involved romantically. He never let his family know about it, because he knew the teasing would never stop if he did. "How can you have a girlfriend, Pompous Perce-Perce?" he could imagine the twins saying, Ginny guffawing right along with them. "Is she just like you, then? A quiet, stuck-up, rule-following grump just like you?"

Percy had found true companionship with her. He'd discussed his family with her, and she had been gentle, kind, and compassionate. She could totally see how Percy could hate his family, yet love them with a desperation borne of protectiveness at the same time. And now she was gone. She'll be back, he kept telling himself over and over again. She's not dead, she's not dead!

But the waiting was torture. It had only been two days since she had been petrified, and already he missed her incredibly. His heart constantly ached, and he always felt his throat burn and his eyes sting whenever anyone mentioned her. But if he was in company, he violently pushed the tears back; he did not want to give his family one more reason to take the mickey out of him.

"You may not think so," Percy whispered into the dark, empty room, "But I do have feelings." He rolled over, the anger and resentment bubbling up in him. "I'm not a robot. I'm still human, just like every one of you. I hope that someday, I can get you to believe it."

And with that last thought, he finally succumbed to sleep.


End file.
